In his book, “Till Debt do us Part”, Poduska taught about the important of marriage cycles or stages of married life. This is not new to anyone. We have all heard and experienced being newlyweds or a family with young children. We have also heard about empty nesters and everything in between. What I thought was interesting was the emphasis that each of these cycles have on a couple and how their relationships develop or suffer from these stages in marriage. It was most important to me, the portion of a marriage with young children and teenagers. This is a hard and difficult road. It is filled with joy and sorrow on a daily basis. What struck me most was the relationship between a husband and wife sometimes gets strained due to relationships that are forged between parent and child or parent and in-law. These are important relationships until they are placed before the relationship between spouses. This was a great wake up call to me to remember to be watering the grass on my side of the fence so I can maintain a healthy and lush lawn.
Family rules are a funny topic to me. The fact is that it is true that when you marry you bring baggage. This can be good quality luggage or can be a black trash bag that we somehow picked up in our travels. We bring our personal differences and unspoken rules that we sometimes don’t even know we have until something triggers them. These unspoken rules need to be discussed. Most importantly, they need to be discussed with an open mind with the knowledge that each partner in the relationship brings rules they deem to be normal that are foreign to the other. With this knowledge, we can work through the differences we are bringing to the partnership.
Understanding In-Laws! This could take an entire marriage to do. I learned from both Poduska and from Harper and Frost Olsen that the in-laws want to be a big part of their children’s lives. Most of what they say or mean are gestures of help or support. A big part of my learning this week was that opinions and differences are a big part of frustration and problems involving in-laws. Keeping this in mind and expressing gratitude and patience toward in-laws can do wonders in a relationship.
Love and Marriage 