In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John M. Gottman talks about the importance of husbands letting their wives influence them. This is funny to me and my wife because of a little inside joke we have in our marriage. When we feel like we are being pushed in a direction, we jokingly step back and state: “Don’t tell me what to do!” We do this because we both really enjoy being told what to do. #NotInTheLeast It must be our meek personalities. Truly though, to be influenced by your spouse is to become closer as a couple.
It is wise to remember that you cannot be married by yourself. Many jokingly talk about the good times they had as a bachelor. When I think of being an endless bachelor, the idea sounds great for a few days, but then I would undoubtedly want to turn to my wife, who wouldn’t be there, to share what is going on in my life. This sounds lonely and makes me sad. Life is better shared with someone. It is much better when you have a partner to share in your successes and moments of learning, and difficulty.
When I look back, I can see how I have molded and changed over the years – a majority of these changes came through the influence of my wife. Sometimes these changes have come by her sanding me with 60 grit sand paper and others have come through personal revelation of how I can help my family.
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I have read or listened to Erza Taft Benson’s “Beware of Pride” talk many times and each time I come away with something new that I need to work on. This is funny because every time I think I have pride under control, I leave with the knowledge that I don’t and still have a long way to go. I’m sure I will improve with time but am convinced that pride will only truly depart in the afterlife when we are taken from this fallen state and have a fuller understanding. Life as our Father in Heaven and Christ see it is greater than we can comprehend. For now, I will cling to making small improvements as I continue to listen to Benson’s counsel and accept the influence of my wife.
-Mr.
Love and Marriage 